donuts with dad

I am rushing the boys into the van and just happen to check their little school calendar to make sure I am not supposed to bring snacks today or dress them up in some type of get up... like last week was career day and poor Julian wore a shirt with a Weiner dog on it because his mama didn't tell him because she forgot herself and now all of his friends think he aspires to be a canine when he grows up. That's when I see it... today is "Donuts with Dad". Utter shame creeps in as backpacks drop to the floor. Dad is long gone from our house and has no clue that he has another appointment this morning. I ponder just letting them stay home but notice the juice from yesterday that was spilt on the floor which is now starting to collect things like lint pieces and Adelaide's handprints and I decide we will just go in late and miss all the dad together hoopla. He doesn't even know anything is going on but I feel like such a loser. I start to tell myself things like how hard is it to look at the school calendar? Darling, you might want to step it up a notch. Then as I am leaving the school I convince myself that I don't want to be responsible for bringing cheese cubes on the 19th and snacks for everyone on the 23rd and I think maybe next year when I begin homeschooling Julian we will just all be home together, feed each other grapes, and not worry for one second because we are all right where we are supposed to be.