Friday, August 05, 2011

Paraffin Fiasco

I referred my darling husband to my dentist. I'm not sure if anyone has noticed but basic service providers are upping their game and giving consumers a bit of luxury to go with their mundane service to keep their clientele up during these hard times. I must preface this by saying that my husband is a man's man. I'm talking big truck, works in construction, and doesn't even have an ounce of metro sexual in his body. So when his lovely dental hygienist asks him if he would like the paraffin treatment, he thinks it must be something new they are doing for his gums. Bless his heart. He says sure why not. She takes him over to the hot paraffin lava, takes the top off of what he says looked like a pressure cooker  and he just looks at her like a deer caught in the headlights so she motions him to dip his hands into the melting pot. She then proceeds to tie the little plastic gloves onto his hands followed my over sized oven mitts and then takes him to his seat. He is thinking where in the world am I and what has this lady done to me??!! She starts to clean his teeth and he is so uncomfortable with his little mitts on that he interrupts and asks, "what exactly is the plan with this concoction as he lifts his hands into the air?" She tells him that most people leave them on until the cleaning is over. He politely asks if he can get them off now when she lets him know that his hands might not be as soft if he takes them off now which makes him get up at once and head for the sink. He recalls times in his life when he has shaken hands with men who had hands reminiscent of a baby's bottom and he has wanted to recoil. As he fumbles his way to his four wheel drive he mumbles why not just cut off part of my manhood while your at it. No paraffin for this guy.

1 comment:

  1. hahahahha...I saw all this played out in my head, and it was hilarious. Thanks.