Loss

I was holding my son in my arms when the phone rang and that old familiar voice was on the other line. When I heard the sadness as he spoke words that would alter the course of our lives as a family. I handed my son over and fell to my knees with tear stricken grief. It was short lived, as my preference for anger is much greater than finding myself in a heap. As if there is any comfort to be found in rage. It was a loss of my expectations, my idealistic family scenario and discovering my hero was not who I thought. He was just a human being after all. So many years later now I see that the darkest days were used to shed light in places that couldn't be reached before the cracks were there.  If I had to go back and feel that all over again to see the growth that has come from that devastation I would do so without question.